5 Main Reasons Why Women Stray in Relationships and Ways to Stay Connected:
What drives people to cheat? Particularly women? After intensively speaking to multiple women, doing extensive research, it’s safe to say that I now have a better understanding of it.
One thing all of the women had in common is that they were all searching for love externally in all the wrong places. At the time, many of them bought into the notion that because they were so unhappy, someone else would come along and fulfil the void.
Surely enough, someone else did come along but only brought more confusion and pain instead. Looking back now I understand that no one is responsible for our happiness except us. The reality hits when you realize that happiness is a choice. It comes from within and no one will come and save you from yourself. No perfect partner, no perfect relationship. The sooner you realize this, the happier you will be. Part of the reason why all my relationships burned out was the unrealistic expectations that were set, my life became empty and I felt trapped in the emptiness.
Here are the main reasons why some of the women I spoke to said they strayed.
1. Feeling Lonely:
Many women stray because of the loneliness, one partner is usually always working or traveling due to work, therefore causes many to pursue separate interests and the loneliness forces the partner to want to seek a connection elsewhere.
Ways to stay connected: Allow her to express how she feels without being judgmental or blameful. Make time to sit down so she can address her feelings of loneliness. It’s a very important factor that most people overlook.
2. The Neglected Nancy:
Nancy was with Frank for 3 years and throughout most of the relationship she felt alone. “Despite being married I felt alone most of the time, he was never around and when he was, we barely spoke. He would be too preoccupied with his phone, the internet, or the T.V. There was no communication, as time passed, we just drifted apart.” Feeling neglected is one of the reasons why women stray from a relationship.
Lack of communication is a big reason why women withdraw. When a husband is too busy with work and doesn’t balance the two lives, women often begin to drift apart. Just like men, women need constant show of attention. If there’s an emotional void to fulfil they will often stray. Many times, the void comes from deeper rooted issues but lots of times it comes from the lack of communication and attention.
Ways to stay connected: Take ten minutes a day to check in with each other. Communicate your fears and concerns.
3. Lack of Intimacy:
This is huge in a relationship and will cause the relationship to crumble. The relationship can’t survive for too long before she starts to encounter relationships outside the marriage. She craves the excitement of a new relationship, the whole experience makes her feel alive, wanted, needed, something that she hasn’t felt in a long time and despite feeling guilty it doesn’t stop her from cheating.
Sandra’s Story: “My husband and I stopped being intimate, so I went and got a lover. My lover made me feel alive and young again. I forgot what it’s like to crave a man; my sex drive hit a high streak. We would cuddle, kiss, and hold hand, I felt like a teenager again. “
Ways to stay connected: Building rituals of connection is very important; some may include scheduling dinner dates and intimate nights. When partners are super busy, they forget to spend time with each other which causes great distress to their intimate world. Next time you go to the store hold hands. Kiss each other goodbye when leaving the house. Cuddle while watching a movie; small daily signs of affection go a long way.
4. Feeling sexual disconnection due to lack of love and affection:
This is one of the most common reasons for adultery. Sex starved marriages all have one thing in common: it’s a gateway to very serious issues within the marriage. One partner usually feels ignored, unwanted, and deeply unhappy with the sexual relationship.
Ways to stay connected: Knowing how important sex is in a relationship despite the craziness that may be going on at home prioritizing it will keep the relationship from diminishing. Learn to avoid the excuses “I’m tired” and realize that sex is a great stress reliever and a healthy part of life.
5. Lack of excitement:
Julies Story: “I would stay up late at night wondering what it would be like to have a different life, a more exciting partner, a partner who was open to trying out new things. What life would be like without the children?” Many women can relate to Julie and feel like something is missing in their lives. They have all the things they thought they ever wanted, a great man, a family, a house yet something is missing. They begin to lose interest in sex and avoid sexual contact with their husband, often going to sleep before them or making up excuses of being overly tired all the time. For many, sex becomes a chore, a job, something to scratch off the “to-do list.” They become bored; crave some excitement because things are just dull and boring in the relationship.
Ways to stay connected: Find a mutual hobby and constantly strive to try out new things especially in the bedroom together. The key is to bond as a team and minimize boredom within the relationship.